Overworking. Who or what is it costing you?
July 2025
Overworking. What is it costing you?
For many of us, overworking is linked to our childhood experiences.
As a child, the sensation of ‘shame’ feels like some kind of behemoth, crushing and suffocating us. Many of us will do absolutely anything we can to avoid experiencing this sensation ever again. We do this by creating ‘rules’ and rigid ways of living, as to not invite any shame to enter our lives – believing that we simply cannot tolerate it.
Fast forward into adulthood, we likely still carry such ‘rules’. For example, in our careers..
“I must…..never take days off”.
…..rarely take my lunch breaks”.
….work harder than anyone else”.
….be there earlier than anyone else”.
….‘be seen’ to be ‘working hard’, every minute of every day”.
….be making an “acceptable” amount of money”.
….never ask for help, never delegate”.
….always ‘be available’.
….take work home with me”.
….put work before anything and anyone else”.
Enacting these behaviours gives our brain certain ‘rewards’ such as feelings of: importance, respect, power, success, accomplishment and control. They also allow us to ‘avoid’ certain emotions like shame – which is an added ‘reward’.
These “feel good” experiences reinforce (strengthen) the behaviours, and they basically become habits.
So even when these behaviours create additional problems for us (health, relationships, self-esteem) – many of us simply can’t let go.
Freedom comes when you willingly throw your hands in the air (imagine being on a rollercoaster) and start saying “I am open to experiencing this sensation (shame)”.
But why would you subject yourself to something so uncomfortable? In service of what?
Well.. what matters?
What might you be neglecting in order to avoid the feeling of shame? What matters deep in your heart? Who matters? What kind of person, parent, partner do you really want to be?
That's why we do this difficult work to unburden ourselves from the discomfort of shame.
That matters.
Sound terrifying? Support is here. Reach out.