Untangling from thoughts and emotions.
(Also known as ‘defusion’).
Turning down the volume on difficult thoughts and emotions gives them less power over us.
What’s ‘key’ to gently beginning this process? Harnessing and growing the part of our mind we call the ‘observer’ or the part that 'notices'. This observing and listening part of the mind ‘notices’ when thoughts, memories, images, sensations and feelings show up.
For example.
The part of our mind that ‘talks’, might say “You’re the problem in all of this”.
The part of your mind that ‘notices’ would acknowledge “I’m noticing that I’m having this thought again, the story about me always being the problem”.
And,
This same part that ‘notices’ may also acknowledge “I’m noticing my heart rate speed up, and a sensation of butterflies in my stomach when that thought shows up. It feels like anxiety”.
To grow this observer ‘part’, we must start using it:
Once a day, set a timer for 2 minutes. Sit somewhere quiet.
Either close your eyes or gently rest them.
Place all your attention on your breathing. Noticing the rise and fall of your tummy. The way the air feels when it enters your nostrils and travels to your lungs.
Your thoughts will inevitably hijack your attention over and over again. This is very normal.
You want to practice ‘noticing’ when your attention has drifted off into your thoughts, gently observe the thought without judging it as right or wrong: ie.
“Here is the thought about my list of things I need to do today”.
“Here is the thought about this being a stupid thing to do”.
“Here is the thought about that embarrassing thing that happened yesterday”.
“Here are sensations of embarrassment in my stomach/ chest”.
Each time you notice your attention has been hijacked by your thoughts and you acknowledge the thought or sensations (as above), gently bring your attention back to your breath.
Do this over and over again for the full 2 minutes. Repeat this every day.
This process (also known as defusion) will increase the ability of your ‘observer part’ (your self-awareness) while also creating distance between you and the thought.
The thought becomes an observation, something we can ‘look at’.
Now we have choices to make.